This is a much better looking caption with the colored text on a black background. The story is a little too expository, as most of it is just explaining how the protagonist ended up in the situation, which isn't as much fun to read. Instead, focus more on either the transformation, or the "fun" she's going to have with her new boyfriend afterwards.
I'm happier with the story than Rauk. Some description of the "fun" might be good but it's good the way it is and the reader's imagination can be relied on too.